Mystery #36: Kristy and the Cat Burglar
This cover image does NOT look like Kristy, right? But the tagline is *chef’s kiss* so we’ll call it even. Also this is the LAST BSC MYSTERY EVER! Pour one out.
So, Kristy is watching her younger siblings and decides to take them trespassing up to a huge mansion behind her mansion. Seems legit. She sees the BSC’s police liaison, Sergeant Johnson, drive by slowly and doesn’t think much of it until she hears a GD GUNSHOT and then sirens as she runs away with Karen and David Michael. Um, like, ZOINKS, SCOOB!
Kristy feels like hot shit when she gets called down to the police station to give a statement and gets called “Detective Thomas.” She recounts her version of events to Sergeant Johnson but is also disconcerted when the other two detectives on the scene ask her some questions about Sergeant Johnson, like how he was able to get to the scene of the crime so quickly. She does find out that Sergeant Johnson believes this to be the work of the Cat Burglar, who leaves behind the “sign of the cat” at the sites of his crimes; in this case, on the homeowner Reinhart Golem’s mailbox. Yes, his name is Reinhart Golem.
Cary Retlin, who always seems to be around when trouble is afoot, was “bird-watching” in the woods behind Golem’s mansion at the time of the crime and is called in just like Kristy. He, though, does not trust the police investigation for some reason and decides that he and the BSC should conduct their own investigation. They go back to the mansion and peek in a bunch of windows. They find a bullet casing on the ground and a bullet hole near a porch door. Good job, Stoneybrook police! Jeez. Then, when Kristy peeks in a window, someone is staring back at her.
What should end in a quadruple homicide (Claudia and Mary Anne are with Cary and Kristy) instead leads to Reinhart Golem greeting the kids and asking them to hang out on his porch. KIDS, RUN. They show him the evidence they found (not sure that’s a great idea) and he calls Sergeant Winters (the one who is a lil shady and suspicious of Sergeant Johnson) and Officer Hopkins, who arrive and talk to the kids. Sergeant Winters tells Kristy not to talk to Sergeant Johnson about the case anymore. Hmm. And later Cary (who is ACAB and also apparently a gun expert???) tells Kristy that the bullet casing they found came from the same caliber pistol that the police officers carry. I feel like we’re ~supposed~ to suspect Sergeant Johnson but I think Sergeant Winters is a problem!
At the next BSC meeting Reinhart Golem calls “looking for a detective” (CREEP!) and tells Kristy that Sergeant Johnson’s fingerprints might be on the magic marker the kids found outside his house. Ruh roh. The BSC adds Ben Birch (Golem’s former business partner) and Golem’s security guard Jack Fenton to the suspect list and start investigating. There’s a reward now for Golem’s stolen diamonds and the BSC is dreaming of a big-ass pizza party.
Meanwhile, Charlotte Johanssen is going through a Harriet the Spy phase (relatable) but Stacey is worried it’s going to come back to bite her. It does, kind of… turns out all the kids in Stoneybrook have “spy fever” and Becca and Vanessa turn the tables on Charlotte. Claudia is there to diffuse the situation, though, and all’s well that ends well.
Now, the REAL spies are the members of the BSC. Abby thinks she sees Ben Birch lurking around Golem’s mansion; Stacey finds out that Cary’s father used to be a cop and is now a locksmith; Claudia discovers that Sergeant Johnson had, in the past, investigated Golem for “smuggling or something” before the case got dropped and Kristy finds out that Sergeant Johnson has the same kind of magic markers on his desk that they found at Golem’s house. Mallory is able to confirm Jack Fenton’s alibi (he really was at the hospital on a bogus call that his wife was there).
And then something WILD happens. Sergeant Johnson shows up at Claudia’s door, disheveled, to talk to her and Kristy and Mary Anne. The Sarge is freaking out because he thinks he’s being framed for the crime at Golem’s by Winters, who wants the chief position that Johnson is also up for. (Doesn’t he have a local bartender he can moan to instead of three thirteen-year-olds?) And then the police chief shows up at Claudia’s to ARREST SERGEANT JOHNSON.
The BSC and Cary Retlin put their heads together and figure out a few things:
It seems a little strange that the bullet casing and magic marker were sitting in plain sight AFTER the police had already searched the area.
Now that they think of it, they saw Sergeant Winters leaving the Golem house right before they found the evidence.
Cary saw a light go on and then off in an upstairs room of Golem’s house the day of the burglary after the security guard left, but didn’t see anyone go in or out of the house.
Would Sergeant Johnson really have had enough time to casually drive by Kristy, stencil the cat on the mailbox, break in, steal the diamonds, get out, hide them, and then return to the scene as if arriving for the first time? Not even a contestant on Double Dare could accomplish that!
Now Sergeant Winters is their prime suspect, so they can’t go to the police. They make the completely ding dong decision to go tell Reinhart Golem about their findings. Kristy, Mary Anne, Abby, and Cary join Golem in his study, where he’s smoking a cigar and drinking brandy. As Abby rambles on about their theories, Cary and Kristy notice that Golem has a Tiffany lamp that they recognize from newspaper articles about what the Cat Burglar has stolen. It’s an OH SHIT moment… especially when they try to leave and realize that Golem has pushed a Matt Lauer button and locked them in.
Luckily the rest of the BSC had discovered a hole in Golem’s alibi and informed the police, who sped to Golem’s mansion and arrested him before he could straight-up murder some teenagers (or flee the country, as he told them he was going to). Turns out Golem was the Cat Burglar all along; he faked the burglary so he could get the insurance money for his diamonds and still have them.
Since they ALMOST FRIGGIN’ DIED AGAIN the BSC is like, “maybe we should chill on trying to solve mysteries for a while.” (You think?) And so there ends the final BSC mystery…
I guess the true remaining mystery is WILL KRISTY THOMAS AND CARY RETLIN EVER MAKE OUT LIKE THEY CLEARLY WANT TO?!
