#114: The Secret Life of Mary Anne Spier
I didn’t read this book as a kid and I’m pretty sure it only exists now to troll me. I feel personally attacked by its discussions of fiscal responsibility and how not to misuse credit cards. If I had read this book as a kid, I’d probably have a fat savings account and a second home by now. Basically:
Mary Anne takes Richard’s credit card out to do her holiday shopping and way overspends, meaning she has to get a secret job as a mall Winter World elf to earn back the money to pay it off. She’s totally embarrassed and keeps it a secret from everyone (because god forbid a person has to have a job, Mary Anne) and it starts to drive a wedge between her and Dawn.
Speaking of the scary Dawnster, Ol’ Veg is back in town with a new attitude. Remember? She’s a ~high school~ girl now and trying her damndest to act like it. Which is to say… she’s insufferable as per uzsh.
Mary Anne meets a girl named Angela, a fellow elf, who is not much older than her but who has recently been kicked out by her parents and is living at the Stoneybrook women’s shelter. Mary Anne invites Angela to spend Christmas day with her fam before Angela hightails it to California to live with a bunch of friends in a house on the beach. (Sounds pretty nice tbh.)
Dr. Johanssen’s hospital can no longer fund the Toys for Kids program at the holidays, which Kristin Amanda Thomas WILL NOT STAND FOR. So she decides the BSC is going to hold a fair called Santa-Hanukkah-Kwanzaa Town (no, I’m not joking) to raise money and provide new toys. And does she get it done? OF DAMN COURSE. Thanks for putting me to shame, Kristy. Sure, I Venmo money to mutual aid funds, but I haven’t recently put on a whole-ass fair celebrating three holidays, so I guess that’s some motivation for me.
