#107: Mind Your Own Business, Kristy!
“See, I think bossy is a code word. When a boy is forceful and responsible, people say he’s ‘strong-willed’ or ‘a born leader.’ But if you’re a girl, you’re ‘bossy.’ Frankly, I take it as a compliment.” - Kristin Amanda damn Thomas
Kristy has never minded her own business; why would she start now? Also, as evidenced by her quote above, “I’m not bossy, I’m the boss” was really her thing before it was TJ Maxx coffee mugs’ and Target t-shirts’ thing. Kristy’s bossiness has its time to shine in this book as she spontaneously holds a Krushers Klinic over spring break for her softball team, and her seventeen-year-old brother Charlie helps her out. He’s great, and the kids love him and obey him — which makes Kristy a lil jealous, of course — but he becomes distracted when the Hsus’ hot baby-sitter Angelica catches his eye. He gets a haircut, starts dressing nicer, starts wearing cologne and winking, etc.
My favorite line in the book is courtesy of Claudia: “Here, Kristy, have a milk product. It’ll calm you down.”
Then Charlie kind of becomes an asshole. We know that we’re supposed to understand that Angelica is ~bad~ because she smokes cigarettes. Charlie starts shirking his (volunteer) responsibilities to the Krushers Klinic and Kristy is getting reeeeal annoyed. She even tries to get him back together with his ex-girlfriend Sarah, but that backfires spectacularly. She even goes off on him and says she’s just like their absentee dad (which, in the Thomas fam, are fighting words). Still, she is stoked for the upcoming Blade concert that she won tickets to from a radio contest (because, duh, the BSC has incredible luck). She is not stoked, however, when she finds out that Charlie is bringing Angelica as his date. (Kristy is bringing Claudia). Charlie even borrows Watson’s car for the evening, and it handles a little differently than the Junk Bucket that he’s used to.
Angelica, right off the bat, is a pain in the ass. First of all, she’s surprised to see Kristy along for the ride and even more surprised to find out that Claud’s coming too — apparently Charlie didn’t tell her — and she says to Kristy through tight lips, “No problem.” Uh, duh, bitch — Kristy is the one who won the tickets. You’re the problem. Then, everyone is getting a little car sick from Charlie’s driving (he can’t handle to power brakes, lmao) so Angelica convinces him to pull over and let her drive because she’s used to cars like Watson’s. Despite Kristy being like, “UMMMMMM,” Charlie lets Angelica take over. She promptly starts speeding, gets pulled over by a cop, and smashes Watson’s car into a guardrail. Yikes, right?
Oh, that’s not all. Turns out Angelica doesn’t have a license and she tries to get Charlie to switch seats with her so it looks like he was driving. He manages to stutter and stammer long enough that the cop reaches the driver’s side window before they have a chance to swap. The cop (who apparently isn’t familiar with the crime-solving capabilities and therefore diplomatic immunity of the BSC) hauls all four kiddos down to the station in Stamford, where their parents have to pick them up. Oh, yeah, and they definitely miss the Blade concert. Then — poor Charlie — Angelica’s parents make her break up with him because they think he’s a bad influence. Ha!
Eventually Kristy and Charlie mend fences; he laments about his lack of maturity and she reminds him that he was the one holding their family together after their dad left. Personally, I just think Charlie is having the same it’s-almost-time-to-go-to-college existential crisis that I did at that age. And, in the end, it looks like he and his ex Sarah (who is sweet and helps Kristy with the Klinic and even gets her former Mets star second cousin once removed Jack Brewster to pop by and hang out with the Krushers) might be getting back together. This whole mess probably had Kristy yearning for the days when the biggest brother issue she had was Sam dating Stacey. Wheeew.
