Special Edition Readers' Request: Logan Bruno, Boy Baby-sitter
Oh, hey! A book from Logan’s point of view! And in the first chapter he goes on for several paragraphs about Mary Anne’s favorite singer, Nicky Cash, “who records all these gooshy love songs” and “used to be in this group called 2 Hot 4 U” before breaking off as a solo act. Logan says he “doesn’t have such a great voice… but he’s a pretty cool dancer” and that girls tend to love him. When it’s all said and done… where’s my Nicky Cash poster? I think I’m into it.
“Saying a guy can’t sit is like saying a girl can’t play football or hockey. A dumb stereotype.” - page 8
Logan explains how he came to be a member of the BSC but he’s super defensive because a bunch of idiot dudes like to tease him about being a baby-sitter and about a goof he made at a track meet.
Here is the moment I’ve been waiting for my whole life. Logan introduces Stoneybrook’s middle school gang, the Badd Boyz. (What were the 90s? I want them back.) According to Logan, “they like to hang out in the shadows of the school, looking bored. Sometimes they smoke cigarettes, sometimes they work on the cars belonging to the older gang members. But mostly they spend their time trying to look cool.” Well, they. Sound. Wonderful. Anyway, Logan decides to become pals with/tutor one of the Badd Boyz, named T-Jam, as a way of getting his track and field friends to lay off him. T-Jam is giving off major Weevil from “Veronica Mars” vibes and I’m here for it.
“I think Kristy could be marooned on a South Sea island without a watch, and she’d still know when it was exactly five-thirty on a Monday, Wednesday, or Friday. And she’d probably cry out ‘Order!’ to the seagulls.” - Logan, page 17
To be honest, this book might have the best Chapter 2 of the whole series. Chapter 2 is when we get the descriptions of each baby-sitter, their backgrounds, how they’re interrelated, etc. It was refreshing hearing it from Logan’s point of view - Stacey’s gorgeous, but don’t get the wrong idea; Mallory’s braces and red hair look fine; Dawn eats bags of hay; Kristy wears the most comfortable clothes.
T-Jam ends up sticking up for Logan when King, of the track asses, is being a jerk. Logan repays the favor by sitting with the Badd Boyz at lunch. Their names are - wait for it - Skin, Ice Box, Butcher Boy, Jackhammer, and G-Man. I hope the G stands for gentle. Logan and the Boyz end up ditching the caf to eat pizza outside and most of the Badd Boyz smoke butts, but Logan declines. They totally get away with it, to Logan’s surprise, but he still gets in a little trouble with Mary Anne later. Of course. Meanwhile, someone is stealing things and committing light vandalism at Stoneybrook Middle School. Hmm, why do I feel like the Badd Boyz are going to get blamed for this?
Well… maybe they should? Logan goes to the mall with a few of them and they do some very shady shit. While Logan is being the best boyfriend and buying a Nicky Cash CD for Mary Anne, T-Jam, Ice Box, and Butcher Boy seem to be shoplifting up a storm, from a place owned by a friend of Logan’s dad. NOT COOL, KLEPTOS. Later Logan catches Skin stealing a cassette player out of a locker, but he’s intimidated out of snitching because, since he let Skin and T-Jam into the school with him, he’d be guilty by association. But you know when the line was really crossed? WHEN SOMEONE STOLE THE WALLET OF ONE ANASTASIA ELIZABETH MCGILL. Really not cool, kleptos.
Unfortunately for Logan, he gets used in a scam by T-Jam, Ice Box, and two of the older Badd Boyz - they steal a box of Nicky Cash CDs from the music store’s shipment. They were allowed near them because Logan knows the owner, and now Logan feels screwed. If he doesn’t tell, he’s leaving poor Bob Shull in the lurch, but if he does tell, he might get in trouble… or, you know, be literally murdered by some middle schoolers in leather jackets.
Speaking of leather jackets, Logan finds a Badd Boyz leather jacket in his locker with his name sewn on it - but he gives it right back to T-Jam. He wants to part of this Stoneybrook mob! I feel like everything was worth it, though, for Logan to get this amazing note in his locker:
At first glance it looks like it might have been written by Claudia, but I think a better guess is that the Badd Boyz don’t want Bruno to bring them down. Logan keeps his silence and gets “thanked” with two impossible-to-get Nicky Cash concert tickets in his locker. Logan decides he can’t accept them (in case they’re “illegal”) but before he can do anything, Mary Anne sees them, freaks out with joy, and tells everyone in the BSC, who vote in favor of Logan receiving a medal. (Ugh, life is so easy for men.) Logan wears cologne when he picks Mary Anne up for the concert and Kristy, of course, roasts him. Logan barely notices because Mary Anne’s outfit gets his blood pumping:
“I couldn’t keep my eyes off Mary Anne. She was wearing this incredibly sexy outfit with sequins on it (yes, Mary Anne). Not a dress but a shirt and pants that are attached, whatever that’s called.”
- Logan, page 108
Logan and Mary Anne go to a fancy restaurant in downtown Stoneybrook before the concert and Mary Anne is gushing about how excited she is and how lucky they are, especially since a seventh-grader had her Nicky Cash tickets stolen right out of her locker. Logan’s stomach falls out of his butt when he realizes the tickets are stolen, and he knows what he has to do. He confesses to Mary Anne, they return the tickets to the girl from whom they were stolen, and they confess everything to Logan’s parents. Then Logan’s dad takes him to the police station to tell an officer about the Badd Boyz’s thieving ways and a plan that Logan overheard - they’re planning on stealing from the music store again the next day. Mr. Bruno shares some wise words:
“It takes a man to admit he made a mistake - and a good man to try to make it better.” - page 118
Logan’s a narc, but we like him. The Badd Boyz get caught in the act and have to go to juvie court and pay fines. All of a sudden the thefts at school stop and everyone can unclench and take a breath. And, plus, I’m always here for some BSC feminism:
Oh, and Logan? He legally buys two tickets to Nicky Cash’s New York City concert for he and Mary Anne. Ooh, Logan Bruno is getting some* tonight! (*Some kisses on the cheek.)
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