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Mystery #4: Kristy and the Missing Child

Mystery #4: Kristy and the Missing Child

Right off the bat, this book sets up a pretty dicey divorce scenario, so based on that and the title of this book, I think I already know where it’s going. Jake Kuhn plays on Kristy’s Krushers and is a good friend of Buddy Barrett’s. His parents are getting divorced and his dad is currently living in Dallas as his parents try to work out a custody agreement. There are some hiccups - Jake’s mom won’t let his dad take Jake to Europe; they can’t figure out a good way for Jake’s dad to see him near his ninth birthday; you know the drill. It’s also a little weird that Jake’s younger sister Patsy says she saw their dad in town yesterday in his distinctive green T-bird, but everyone brushes that off as a little kid’s mistake.

Kristy and her not-my-boyfriend-but-I-like-him-you-know Bart Taylor have a Krushers vs. Bashers game and stick around until all the kids have left. Jake’s mom is at a dentist appointment with his sisters, so he heads home on his own and Bart walks Kristy home.

“He knows I’m not some sweet little thing who’s afraid to use her muscles.”
- Kristy about Bart, page 29

Later, Kristy gets a call from Mrs. Kuhn asking if she’s seen Jake. Uh oh. After Kristy, the BSC, and Mrs. Kuhn call all around town with no sign of Jake, Mrs. Kuhn realizes that he’s probably been snagged by his dad and is on the way to Texas. She’s pissed, but still assuming that Jake’s safe somewhere, even though no one can get ahold of Harry Kuhn.

But the BSC isn’t that sure; Jake had seemed super excited about his Ninja Turtle birthday party and they don’t think he’d leave town and miss it. (Although, to be fair, his favorite Ninja Turtle is Donatello - the right answers would be Michelangelo or Raphael.) Kristy calls an emergency meeting of the BSC to brainstorm how to help. The fuzz (aka police) show up at the meeting to interview Kristy about the last time she saw Jake! (I’m kind of jealous? Like, not that I want kids to go missing but I secretly want to be interviewed for an investigation. When I worked in retail I took writing up shoplifting reports for the police VERY SERIOUSLY.)

Side note: everyone’s like “Mr. Kuhn is actually pretty chill” and there are repeated mentions of this construction site near the ball field that the dudes in the book can’t stop gagging over, so now my suspicions have shifted. The front-end-loader kidnapped Jake! Right?

“I’m the kind of person who needs to be doing things. I can’t just sit around and worry.” - Kristy, page 63

Kristy’s getting antsy, so she decides to coordinate a search party of her friends and her baby-sitting charges. The whole BSC, of course, gets into it too. As an English teacher, I have a truly hard time with Claudia’s spelling —

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— but at least she’s cool in every other way. A ton of people show up for the search, but they don’t find Jake. Matt Braddock has an idea about Jake having crawled from a drainage pipe into the sewer and people laugh but honestly IT’S NOT THAT FARFETCHED FOR A KID WHO LOVES THE NINJA TURTLES. THEY LIVED IN THE SEWERS! The police think Mr. Kuhn may be in the Mexican countryside, which doesn’t really help clear things up either.

It’s Matt Braddock who finally convinces Kristy and co. to go check out the construction site, and sure enough they find a piece of Jake’s shirt on some lumber, and then hear a faint cry for help. And - ta da - it’s Jake! Turns out he’d popped in on his way home from Krushers practice to look for used nails and screws he could use to make a treehouse with Matt Braddock, and then he’d fallen in a hole where the basement stairs would eventually go. He’s tired, hungry, dehydrated, and has a bum leg, but he’s alive. Mrs. Kuhn and the police rush there and are relieved, too. Once again, KRISTIN AMANDA THOMAS SAVES THE DAY.

At Stoneybrook Middle School’s Awards Night, Kristy gets an award for her role in rescuing Jake, and Bart mothereffin’ Taylor kisses her in front of everyone. GET IT, KRISTY.


#55: Jessi's Gold Medal

#55: Jessi's Gold Medal

#54: Mallory and the Dream Horse

#54: Mallory and the Dream Horse